Monday, December 16, 2013

Where Have All the Candy Canes Gone?

Marble Pound Cake Inkblot Personality Test.

I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit.  No really, I am, but there are just a few things that are weighing me down.  Well, maybe more than a few...

1.  Egg nog.  Yes, egg nog is definitely weighing me down.  So, I tried low fat eggnog and it ticked me off because it's gross.  Get a life, low fat eggnog!

2.  Those reindeer antler things that people put on their cars.  Because cars look exactly like reindeer.

3. Christmas lights on cars.  Blink, blink, blink.  Distracted, distracted, just ran a red light, distracted. Blink, blink, blink.

4.  Christmas music.  Pleeease make it stop! My ears are bleeding!

5.  Did someone highjack a cargo ship en route from China carrying candy canes and Starlight mints? Were there some pirates on the high seas that needed a peppermint fix?  Because I can't seem to find peppermint anything anywhere this year.

6.  In my fruitless search for candy canes, I did find Christmas Candy Corn and Snowman Peeps.  I now consider both traders to their original holidays.  What's next? Cadbury Cream Ornaments (Please don't tell me if these are already on the market.  It will ruin me.)

7.  Speaking of fruitless...fruitcake.  That's all I have to say about that.

8.  Plastic nativity lawn ornaments. Poor Plastic Baby Jesus bakes in the sun by day and glows in the most eerie way by night.

9. Red and green together is an aesthetic assault.

10.  Sugar cookie dough = scrumptious!  Sugar cookie frosting = suspicious!  Red dye #3, 5, 7 and 9 anyone?

11. Christmas Traffic.  T=Turns, R=Random A=Adult, F=Fellows and F=Females I=Into, C=Crazed lunatics.

12.  Malls.  M=Mad, A=Adult, L=Looney, L=Lunatics, S=Shopping

13.  Santa's White Christmas, Pepperminty, Creme brûlée, White Chocolate Snowman-y, Sugar Cinna-Cookie, Gingerbread Baby, Egg Noggin', Cool Mint Evergreen Spearmint Mocha-chinos for $5 are really, really weighing me down.

Hugs (but only air hugs because I have a head cold and I don't want to spread anymore Christmas cheer than I already have),


P.S.  Please make my day and add to the list.  I want to know what's weighing you down this Christmas season.

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