Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Alarm clocks are awful!  I swear every morning when mine goes off it scares me so much that I age a  year.  And if I hit snooze, when the alarm sounds again, I age another year.  Alarm clocks = bad!!!

When I was in college, there was a girl in my hall who had the MOST ANNOYING ALARM CLOCK EVER!  Every stinking week day morning that crazy clock would sound off at the crack of dawn.  It was louder than loud. Unfortunately, the owner of the clock was an extremely heavy sleeper and so the alarm would continue to blast for a loooooong time. Everyone in the hall heard it.  It was an auditory nightmare.

Do you want to hear it?

How would you like to wake up to that on a daily basis?  Wow!  Yeah!

Actually, I am curious.  How do you wake up each day? Do you prefer soft music to rouse you out of your slumber?  Maybe you need a more blatant alarm to get you going? Of course if you have kids, chances are your "wake up call" consists of a flying squat drop to your abdomen at 6 a.m..

You know I like to keep you up to date on all the latest useless information that is out there.  So, I did a little research on what's hot on the alarm clock front these days.  Here is what I found:

Have you seen the Flying Alarm Clock? This is an ER trip waiting to happen in my house.  I can see it now - the propeller thingy pops off the base, flies through the air, and lands directly in my awakening eye ball.  Nothing says "good morning" quite like a punctured cornea.

Okay, are you ready for "Clocky" The Alarm Clock On Wheels?  No?  Me either.  Next...

Do you like to multi-task?  The Dumbbell Alarm Clock makes sure that you rise and exercise all at the same time. 30 bicep curls is all that it will take to make the buzzer on this clock cease and desist.  Of course, chucking it out a two story window might do the trick too.

Does the smell of bacon in the morning make you smile?  Well, then you need the Making Bacon Alarm Clock.  What a clever device!  Now you can wake up, raise your cholesterol, and burn down your house all at the same time.  Nice!

And finally, my personal favorite alarm clock, The Phillips Mirror Finished Display Alarm Clock.  Because, the first thing that I want to see when I open my eyes in the morning is my own reflection.  Not!

Oh, and while I was doing all this clock research for you, I found out that the chicken clock that my college friend had is now a collector's item.  So, Jen Stack, if you are out there and reading this, that crazy clock of yours is now worth a mint.  And to think that I came "this close" to running over that clock with my car.



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