Tuesday, November 20, 2012

An Alien Ate My Eyelashes

Don't be fooled, this is really an alien disguised as a cute toddler. 
Last week I was feeling a bit adventurous and I bought my first pair of false eyelashes.  I just wanted to try them and see what it was like to have long, lush lashes.  After 30 minutes of wrestling with the little buggers,  I finally got them to stick to my eye lid and not my fingers or face.  Then I spent the next several hours batting my lovely synthetic lashes at Pete, winking at strangers, and giving the kids butterfly kisses.  It was great fun for someone like me who leads such a glamorous life.

After the novelty and glue wore off, I took the lashes and put them away in their cute little case for safekeeping. Then, I sort of forget about them until tonight.  Pete and I had a dinner date with some friends and I was feeling all glamorous again.  So I went to put on the little lashies and they were not in their case! Dum...dum...dum...

I also noted that there was a seriously large glob of toothpaste on the counter next to the empty case.  Our bathroom suddenly morphed into a crime scene as I followed a trail of minty tooth polish on the floor.  The trail ended abruptly at the toilet, where it looked like someone had used a week's worth of toilet paper in a failed attempt to wipe up the Colgate carnage.  This looked like the work of a real professional.

With my eyelashes missing and a toilet paper mache sculpture left behind, I needed answers and quick. I questioned a couple of the older monkeys, but they were most unhelpful.  Then, I caught a whiff of peppermint as Mr. Toddler Toes twinkled by.  Hmmm..I had found my number one suspect, and the evidence was stacked against him.

So I asked, "Have you seen Mommy's eyelashes?  They were on the counter in our bathroom."

"Oh yes!" he said.

"Did you touch them?" I inquired.


"Where are they?" I pried.

"They are in my playroom."  he said.

"Will you find them for me?" I pleaded.

"No, they are really lost, Mommy. You need to get some new ones." he said in his most matter-a-fact voice.

I still have not found those lashes and I have searched his playroom several times.

I think that he ate them.

I guess we will find out soon enough. What goes in, must come out.  That is sure to be one glamorous poop.



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