I had nightmares about turning forty. Straight up, wake up in the middle of the night, sweaty, panicky nightmares! I just could not kick this impending sense of doom that settled over me about six months before my 40th birthday. I couldn't help thinking that somehow 40 was a dirty word. A big, fat, 5 letter nasty word. The F-bomb! Forty!
The day I turned forty, Pete threw me a huge surprise birthday party complete with a steel drum band and a house full of my favorite people. We had so much fun! However, after the party was over and the last of the confetti was swept away, the funk set in again. I call it the Forty Funk.
Here are the symptoms of the Forty Funk:
1. Indecisive. Wishy washy. Scatterbrained. ADHD, HDAD, "Where am I? ", "Who am I?"
2. Acne. Say WHAAAAAT? Yep, like full on awkward teeny-bopper, get out the Sea Breeze and three tubes of Extra Strength Clerasil acne.
3. Insecure. "Why are they looking at me?", "Do they like me?", "They hate me!", "This outfit makes my butt look big." "This outfit makes my butt look big too!" "Wait, is my butt big?"
4. Unsure. "What should I do with the rest of my life?", "Is it all down hill from here?", "What am I good at anyway?"
5. Emotional. Happy, terrified, happy, angry, totally freaking out, excited, depressed, and happy again in a span of 5 minutes. Or maybe 4 minutes.
So basically, I went through a second puberty the year I turned forty. Yep, instead of the middle school puberty blues, I had the middle-aged puberty blues. I was an air-headed, awkward, acne- laden, angry
But, you know what? Just like with the first puberty, something happened on the other side of the second puberty. I changed. It took awhile and I have not arrived, but somehow by the grace of God and medicated Stridex facial pads, I have overcome the Forty Funk.
And now, being forty-something has taken on a whole new life. I feel more confident and able to make decisions with a clear mind. I treat others the way that I want to be treated and do not worry about what others are thinking about me. I feel more stable emotionally and realize that joy comes from within no matter what is happening externally. And while I still have a lot to learn, I am excited about the journey.
Oh, and I have also discovered Spanx. So, that takes care of the booty dilemma. Because, all's well that ends well. Wink! Wink!
Can anyone else out there relate to the second puberty? Throw on your Member's Only jacket, grab that Bonnie Bell lipgloss, and let's chat. Comments on our FB Page or here on the blog are open.