Sunday, January 6, 2013

Old Wives and Their Tales

This is how the stomach virus makes us feel.
So it's official.  The stomach virus has come to visit our home, and boy do we have some sad, sick monkeys around here.  This virus is a whopper! Not pretty at all.

Whenever the kids come down with a stomach bug, I always get nervous.  I start researching home remedies and ways to ward off the funk.  I once heard an old wives tale that if you drink a can of Coke, you won't catch the stomach virus.  I tried it.  It did not work.

It made me wonder about all of those other tales I've heard throughout the years.  Like, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" or "Drinking a glass of warm milk before bed will help you sleep".  So, I looked those "words of wisdom" up and it actually turns out that the old broads really did know what they were talking about.  Apples have cancer fighting agents know as phenolics that protect against colon and breast cancer.  Warm milk has a positive psychological effect on people, triggering a relaxed, happy feeling from infancy.

Okay, so maybe those old wives were wise.  Maybe they were so wise that they all got together one evening and decided to have some fun with us future generations. I can just imagine their conversation:

Old Wife #1:  "I've got a great one!  Let's tell them that if their ears are burning someone must be talking about them."

Imagine all the poor souls with naturally warm ears who walk around these days in a state of paranoia thinking that someone (everyone) is talking about them.

Thanks Old Wife #1!

Old Wife #2:  I know, let's tell them that If you wean calves in the dark of the moon, they won’t bawl for their mamas."

Think of all the poor tired farmers that subscribed to that little nugget of knowledge.  Staying up all night in the pitch dark, weaning all those baby ccws...Not to mention the poor mother cows that had to wait for nights on end until it was dark enough for their babies to be weaned.  

Shame on you Old Wife #2!

Old WIfe #3:  "Ha!  Why don't we tell them that rabbits' feet bring good luck?"

Either Old Wife #3 was just plain mean or she really liked rabbit stew. PETA would have been all over her!

And Old Wife #4, she was the little tart that thought she would mess with moms like me, by sharing her "sage wisdom" about drinking a can of Coke to ward off the stomach virus.  I bet those old wives just rolled with laughter thinking about all of us hopeful moms, chugging down our can of soda only to have it make a return visit several hours later.  And, I will have you know, Old Wives, that Coke does not feel very good when it comes out of your nose! 



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