It's Time for Another Adventure...

If you have been playing along with us here on "This and That"  you will know that we like to have adventures.  A couple of years ago, I tried out for a theatre group and we dialogued through that process together.  It was a great experience!  I would do it again in a heartbeat!  You can read about it here, here, here, and here.

Then, there was this past summer, when Pete and I took the monkeys to New York City and stayed in Harlem for a month.  Fun times!  We enjoyed sharing those memories with you and all of your awesome suggestions and comments. Thank you!

And now, friends, I have decided to do something really "stretchy".  Which means basically that I am stepping or stretching outside of my little comfort zone and into...the comedy zone.  I am officially enrolled at SAK University and have taken a couple of classes already this month.   It is very challenging and I am a sweaty mess after each class.  It is crazy fun!  It's the highlight of my week!

Image credit:  SAK Comedy Lab

So, friends, are you up for a challenge?  Do you have something that you have been wanting to try or do? Maybe it's auditioning for a singing group (ahem, Autumn...), learning how to drive a stick shift, traveling to a foreign country, making your grandma's famous lasagna,  yodeling, juggling, drawing, sky diving,  brewing your own beer, starting a non-profit, writing a screen play, whatever, whatever, whatever...

My challenge to you is to go. for. it!  But first, if you want to share please tell us about it here on "This and That".  We want to cheer you on!

You can leave comments on the blog or on our FB page.  What are you waiting for?

Hugs,

Melissa

Pet Peeves

Pet peeve-

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.

Call me cynical, critical, or compulsive, but, oh man do I have a lot of pet peeves.  Ya'll ready for this...

My pet peeves include:

Weird mouth noises of any kind - slurping, smacking, clicking, sucking, ticking, clucking, or any variations of these sounds

Feet- oh gosh, I hate feet.  I especially hate it when someone touches my feet or WORSE their feet touch my feet. Worst. feeling. ever.

Unannounced visitors- I love to visit with people, just not when I may or may not have brushed my teeth yet, or gotten dressed, or woken up .

Getting my teeth cleaned - because they always, always feel so weird afterwards.  Like someone else replaced your teeth with their teeth.

Someone else using my toothbrush.  Sick!

When the last person to use the bathroom doesn't replace the toilet paper.

Unnecessary labels left on things.  It bugs me to no end.

Talking during movies, plays, or other public functions where you are suppossed to be quiet.

Those ultra-sticky, rip your skin off, bandaids that they put on your arm after a shot.

Old potpourri

When my foot falls asleep.  Or worse, when I sleep on my ear at night and it falls asleep.

When I can hear my heartbeat when I am trying to go to sleep.  It's distracting.

Loud grunting sounds when people are lifting weights at the gym. Awkward!

When you are talking to someone and they start talking to someone else mid-sentence.

The way car seat belts dig into your neck while you are driving.

Squeaky sneakers

Squeaky or slamming doors when you are trying to sleep

Random screaming, screeching, or other loud noises.

Those freaking car horns that sound like train horns.  They freak me out every time!

Listening to sales pitches.  I hate saying no.

When the delivery guy rings the door bell and your baby is sleeping (even though there is a sign on the door saying NOT to ring the door bell)

Fake cheese on food

The smell of red onions.  Or worse the smell of red onions mixed with Big Red gum.  Don't ask.

Jim Lehrer's voice

Okay friends, it your turn.  What pet peeves do you have?  Do share. You can leave a comment on the blog or on our FB page.

In my best Jim Lehrer voice, "Go!"


Hugs,

Melissa

Go Ahead, Make My Day!

Happy, happy Friday, friends!  Are you ready for the weekend?  I sure am!  What kind of plans to do have?

Me?  I am taking a one-way train to crazy town over here with all the pre-holiday activities.  Who knew November was the new December?  I am starting to wonder if I missed Thanksgiving?  No wait, it's still on the calendar. Gotta get that turkey (I so do not enjoy that part of Thanksgiving).  Here and here are a couple of posts from holidays past to kick off the weekend on the right weird side.

Speaking of kicking off stuff, I am totally thrilled that the new FaceBook page for "This and That" has had such a warm welcome!  I love that we can build up this community and have more people to laugh with.  So, if you have "liked" our page on FB, thank you!  And if you haven't "liked" our page, well, it would just make my day if you did.  Just click on our handy, dandy FB link over there-------------------> and press the "like" button.  You don't even have to be a Facebooker?, Facebookie?, Facebookler? to "like" the page.

Wow, could I say "like" much more?  I feel like a Valley Girl, for sure! If you don't know what a Valley Girl is, that is okay.  It just means that you are young and I am old.  If you do know what a Valley Girl is, you are old too.

So, whether you're young or old, a Valley Girl or not, thank you for reading "This and That".  Please feel free to share it with the universe.  The more the monkeyer!

Hugs,

Melissa

Can You Build Sandcastles in the Desert?

Human monkey children are quite precocious creatures.  Over the years, our monkeys have said some really hysterical stuff and asked some quirky questions.  Here is a sampling:


Little Monkey:  "Mom, when I turn 20 my name will be Franklin.
Me:  "But your name is Andrew.."
Little Monkey:  "Andrew is a kid's name."

Little Monkey:  "Can you build sandcastles in the dessert?"
Me:  "No, because there is not enough water to mix with the sand."


Funny story here...this summer in New York, Little Monkey was playing in a sand box at the park.  There were a handful of other kids in the sand box and all of their moms were sitting on the edge watching them play. Little Monkey suddenly got a very strange look on his face, and I didn't think much about it until about 2 minutes later when I noticed that the front of his shorts were suspiciously wet and a few moms were ushering their kiddos out of the sand box. I wanted to bury my head right then and there in that sand. Parenthood is so humbling.

Oh, and after the sand box "incident" there was plenty of moisture in the sand box to build a sand castle.  EEEWWW!

Little Monkey:  "My underwear has a secret pocket."

Youngest Monkey Girl:  "Love is operation, it's like a temptation thingy."

Youngest  Monkey Girl:  "Crunchy Crotch" A.K.A. "Country Crock"  This was always a fun one to explain to dinner guests ;-).

Middle Monkey Girl:  Lyrics to "Funky Town" - "Taco body, Taco body, Taco body, glueby, gluebin"

Little Monkey:  "Was Dad a grown up when I was born?"  "Dad was born in 1860."

Youngest Monkey Girl:  When she finished a semester of ballet - "My dancing career is over."

Middle Monkey Boy:  "Green Crackers"  A.K.A "Green Bay Packers"

How about you friends?  Do you have any funny monkey quotes or moments to share?

Hugs,

Melissa

Today's Confessions...

Today, I threw away 10 fun-sized candy bar wrappers and an empty box of Nerds from *my purse. *Emphasis on my. 

Today, I took the car to get the oil changed.  I don't like getting the oil changed. I have an irrational fear that I will drive the car into the underground work bay.  I doesn't help that there is some dude flagging you into the bay, pointing frantically to the left, to the LEFT, TO THE LEFT!!!

Today, I felt like I drank 5 cups of coffee, because I did.

Today, I washed the same load of laundry twice because I didn't want to start a new load.  Don't even try to figure this one out.

Today, I clipped one of my toenails too short. It hurt.

Today, I tried on 4 different pairs of pants before I could leave the house .  Two words:  Fun-sized.

Today, I lip-synced "Roar" while driving.   Someone clapped for me at a red light.

Today, I took a "15 minute power nap" for 60 minutes.

Today, I sneezed 100 times while tweezing my eyebrows.  Does this happen to anyone else?

And finally,

Today, I said, "Love you" as I hung up the phone with the vet technician.

Yep, today was just one of those todays.

How about you friends?  Any confessions for today?

Hugs,

Melissa

Some Things In Life Just Make Me Smile - Japanese Edition

We love Japan!  Over the years, through business travel to Japan and hosting Japanese college students we have formed some really awesome friendships.  One thing that I especially love about Japanese culture is the quirkiness.  It just makes me smile when I see things like...

 Ahhh! Smooth as a...as a...somehow "baby's butt" just doesn't fit here.

Because nothing is more soothing than a sharp razor blade on the jugular vein.

Do not mess with the chef!  He will go all sumo on you!

A kinder, gentler King Kong...

Sometimes you just need a salad now. On the double! Move it people! 

Don't even think about leaving without paying!  The kitchen ninja is watching!  Always watching! And he might bite you with his freakishly huge teeth. 

It's not mediocre English.  It's perfect and it's certified.  Boom!

As long as it's an iron plate.  

Because nine inch heels always work well on motor scooters.

Hugs,

Melissa

Elvis Is a Renaissance Man

I took the monkey girls to the Lady of the Lakes Renaissance Faire yesterday.  Do you like how I spelled fair the fancy way, "faire"? A "faire" is one step up from a "fair" in that it does not have the spin and puke ride or fried Twinkies (although it did have funnel cakes).  A "faire" is like a "fair's" sophisticated older cousin.

It was a beautiful day to be outside, if you had on a bathing suit.  Which we didn't because it's supposed to be fall here, even though it is a gazillion degrees outside. No one should be wearing a bathing suit in the fall, especially at a Renaissance Faire.  I bet the volunteers at the faire wished that they could wear bathing suits.  They had to wear heavy medieval period style clothing.

Stuff like this....

and this...

The monkeys enjoyed this cultural experience quite a lot.  They made things like golden rings.

They shot arrows.

We even watched a falconry demonstration.  It was really interesting and slightly stressful because one of the birds decided it had had enough and flew away.  There's nothing quite like a disgruntled falcon.  It's kind of hard to watch a falcon demonstration without a falcon to demonstrate.

One person in the crowd didn't let some silly A.W.O.L. falcon shake him up.  He was cool a  cucumber in his blue suede shoes.  Elvis is apparently a renaissance man! Who knew?

I am happy to report that the falcon did return eventually.   Elvis however, has left the building.

 Hugs,

Melissa