Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Dear Mr. Middle Finger

Dear Mr. Middle Finger,

When I woke up today, I thought that I was in the United States of America.  So please try to imagine my surprise when I got on the road and drove what I thought was the posted speed limit of 65 (give or take 10) miles per hour, only to find you driving right on the tail end of my car.  So, I thought to myself, "Whoa!  We must be in Germany today!  Whoops!  This isn't the 408 in Orlando, Florida, it's the German Freaking Autobahn!  My bad!"  Of course, by the time I had realized my faux pas, you were already in the lane beside me getting ready to pass me by.

Oh, and was that your middle finger that you offered my way?  Well, here is where I will have to let you know that despite your driving prowess and your rather forward offer, I am indeed taken.  Might I suggest to you a less forward approach with the ladies?  A kinder, gentler gesture of sorts.

Or maybe I could offer you some helpful advice..."Slow down!"  Oh and, you can stick that middle finger where the sun doesn't shine.  What?  I meant in your ear.  Oh ye, with the dirty mind!



P.S.  My 5 year old could drive circles around you and then he could kick you in the shin.  That is, if  we condoned violent behavior, which we don't, but I'm just letting you know.)

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