Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Goodbye Bunny! (Warning! Graphic Images of Chocolate Carnage!)

Okay, it's three days post Easter and I just have to know something.  How much Easter candy have you consumed?

Have you been "borrowing" little marshmallow Peeps from some innocent child's Easter basket?  Or have you just gone hog wild and eaten the whole rabbit?  Come on, spill those jelly beans and don't even try to "sugar coat" your answer.  I can see the chocolate smudge there on the upper left-hand corner of your mouth.  And, that chocolate bunny on your kitchen table is missing it's ears!

When I was a kid, my mom would always eat the ears off of my chocolate Easter bunny and then pretend that she didn't do it.  Really, Mom?

My friend Bonnie also has a weakness for chocolate Easter bunnies, too. Bonnie is a total riot!  She has done improv comedy at SAK Comedy Club here in Orlando.  She also writes some seriously funny letters to her sisters who all live out of state.  Here is one that she shared with me about the untimely demise of Sir Bunny (Warning!  The following images may be upsetting or possibly tempting!)

Hello dear friends,

It is with deep regret and sadness that I bring you news of the demise of our dear Cadbury Chocolate Easter Bunny.  His downfall began innocently enough with a mere nibble of an ear.  

Days went by and we felt that all was well when … not only did poor Sir Bunny lose his other ear … but his entire head as well!   

Poor, poor Bunny.  Sightless and without a thought in his non-existent head, he was mercifully spared the knowledge of a barbarian eating his entire torso after a particularly aggravating day.  

All that remained of the carnage was a ragged haunch and a tragically still foot.  The bunny was left forgotten for a few days behind a pile of papers and it began to look as though there was indeed luck left in that old rabbit’s foot.  

But, alas, the papers were cleared away and noble Bunny met his tragic end.  Goodbye, dear Bunny, you have served your mistress well!


The Duchess of Pork

Thanks for the laughs, Bonnie!  Also, thank you for providing an opportunity for me to create some visuals for your letter.  It was a tough job to have to eat the whole bunny, but someone had to do it.  You know, for the sake of art. 



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