At Christmas time, most kids have some pretty standard items on their list to Santa.
It is not unusual for Santa to read millions of requests for Legos, Barbies and maybe a Nerf gun or two.
But, every so often, Santa gets that one weirdo request from some strange kid. I was that kid pretty much every year.
Santa must have wanted to exile me to the South Pole right along with the the odd gifts that I told him I desperately needed.
My letters to Santa went something like this:
I have been a very good girl this year. I have been nice to my sister most of the time (with the exception of that one time that I convinced her to stick her legs through our doll crib and she got stuck) and I have eaten most of my vegetables.
Since I have been such a good girl, may I please have a tiara and magic wand? I promise that I will not use the wand to turn my sister into a frog or anything like that.
Missy (my childhood nickname)
I have been trying all year to remember to be good. I have tried to be sweet to my sister (except for that one time that I convinced her to hide at the top of our closet and she got stuck) and I have eaten some of my vegetables.
May I please have a real live pony with wings for Christmas? It would be so much fun to fly on my pony in the sky while I am wearing my tiara and waving my magic wand. Oh, and I am still waiting for those last two items.
But my personal favorite request to Santa came around the time I was about 7 years old or so.
I have been really good this year. My sister even says that I have been nice to her on occasion (and I did not get her stuck anywhere this year). So, I was wondering, since you must have run out of tiaras, magic wands and flying ponies, could I please, please have a "Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow"? It would be a dream come true! All I want for Christmas this year is a Milky. PLEEEASE!!!!
And that year, Santa and his elves must have smiled upon me, because on Christmas morning, when I woke up and rushed into our family room, under the tree, was the gift of my dreams. "Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow"!!!!
Would you like to see the joy that was "Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow"? Just click here. You won't be disappointed. Maybe a little weirded out. Okay, maybe a lot weirded out.
After that year, I'm pretty sure that my parents censored all of my future letters to Santa.